Up, sluggard!

There are these days when I just feel being lazy and my mind is somewhere else - dreaming of faraway places or goals bubbling through my thoughts.

The next thing I know, hours had past and my backlogs had piled up. The idea of a bad time steward had prompted and later on, find myself questioning my faithfulness.

But, honestly and by the grace of God, it is on these times, I had to make a conscious decision to get back and stop being a sluggard.

Most of the time, I will find myself locked in the wash room, prophesying and decreeing life against my valley of dry bones (Ezekiel 37).

I have to remind myself that I am serving God and not men – so I must persevere and be excellent in what I was called to do. I must willfully get up and serve faithfully and wholeheartedly in the fear of the Lord (2 Chronicles 19:9) and I must sow diligently.

Miracle-Working God

I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes for almost ten years now and been taking maintenance from then on. However, a week or two before our mid-year prayer & fasting on 5th- 7th of July, I dropped my meds despite sugar shoot ups with an intention to really believe for healing.

On the second night, our pastor called those who are in need of healing for the laying of hands and prayer. I humbly went forward with my thankful heart whilst believing God for a miracle.

Yesterday was our last prayer meeting.  Before going there, I decided to test my sugar count so that I'll know what to pray again, in case.

While in front of my glucometer, I talked to the Lord, appealing that I am not testing His miracle, but I'll be glad if He can allow me to see it pass right in front of me. Whatever the measurements be though, I believe in my heart that I am healed- so I went on and on the next second, my jaw dropped when I saw the figures on the screen- 120 mg/dl. It was a normal count considering I ate lunch two or three hours ago.

My heart is filled with gladness and thanksgiving.

I know in my heart that it is not a coincidence, but that is a hand of God at work. All glory to a miracle-working God! Hallelujah!

I am believing for continuous healing and faithfulness to pursue fitness and healthy lifestyle for His glory and good stewardship of His temple.

My prayer is that everyone will receive their first -hand miracle from Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us- Eph 3:20.

Jesus said to her, daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering- Mark 5:34- Go, claim it! I'll say it again, claim it until He is moved. 

Mount Pulag

It was not too long ago when I first trek a mountain in Anwangin, Zambales. With my gasping, mood swings and scarcely talking temper close to summit because of an irritating tiredness of a supposed stroll, I never thought I would ever trek again.

But then here I am, almost fresh from a straight nine hours flight from Dubai (from a manic duty at work and barely had sleep), prepared my bag and went straight to Baguio with my good friend, Rose eight hours from landing to catch the famous sea of clouds in Mount Pulag.

We reached Baguio at 6am then transferred to a jeepney to bring us to Benguet- where Pulag is. We passed by Ambuklad Dam before heading to DENR office for some protocol briefing. Apparently, station 2 was full that day from earlier campers, hence, we can no longer pitch our tent at night and gaze at the stars while we wait dawn and start the trek. While I loved the stars, I am a thankful though to past the night on a local house because one, they have comfortable beds to get good four hours sleep, second, the warmth is way greater than what an open space camp has to offer and lastly, you can make new friends with your little time with your group mates in the house.

The cold was extreme when we were about to begin the trek at midnight and being stationary will not help at all. With our gears and minions look (head lamp on), we started the trek via Ambangeg trail from the Ranger Station. We are 24 people in the group excluding our three local guides sited in the head, middle and tail to make sure no one will be left behind.

The initial trail was easy but the next ones are easier said than done. They were steep and at times, slippery. The gasping and spasms had started and thoughts of quitting were being entertained several times. I was left behind. Many times. Even found myself alone at times into the woods. The trail were narrow and are cliffs most of the time, if not all. Plus they are rocky. Any wrong pace can lead you to danger (twisted foot or falling off the cliff)

I had to stop multiple times to catch my breath as was not forcing thyself too much- taking care of my glucose level. I’m sure passing out is the last thing you want to end up on cliffs. Lol. I enjoyed the solitary moments though for they were also the times I had my conversations with God. Boasting the strength I have in Christ Jesus and the hope in my heart to finish the race, even despite the several stops and doubts.

But His grace is indeed sufficient. I reached the summit an hour or so later than my friend, which concludes all the more the number of my stop overs. Haha! Nevertheless, I still reached and finished the race. And still even a little early for the sunrise and sea of clouds. 

The cold was more apparent on the summit that we have to hide ourselves on the tall grasses. My fingers were numb hardly clicking my shutter. Haha. They said, it was only 10 degrees at that time but the wind were strong making it colder. I really thought it was freezing point. Lol! (Friendly advice though- do not underestimate the cold in Pulag!)

The view on the summit is Pulag’s crowning glory and reward. It was breathtaking and magnificent. Staring at the beauty of endless mountains panorama and the jaw dropping sea of clouds- It was beyond words. I just know in my heart that it is only God who can create such perfection. What a joy to see all these.

But as any journey would end, so is this experience. We went down using the same trail but with a more joyful heart after reaching the summit and seeing the sea of clouds. In fact more grateful with the bright of sun highlighting the beauty of the trail you once went. Just in complete awe wherever side I turn.

After all, I still want to go back and trek maybe through a more complicated trail. Maybe when I am engaged. They say, you can see the character of your partner when on Akiki Trail. The hardest of all- maybe because cursing is more tempting there. Lol.

Until the next trek and/or new summit. Gracias.

Shukran, 2014!

It seems it was only yesterday when we hit Al Ain road to watch the fireworks at the Burj Khalifa on New Year’s Eve and today, marks another new year. How time flies.

The grace of the Lord has been evident throughout the 2014. I must say, I had my share of ups and downs and His grace sustained me in every way. His peace became my shield and His promises became my back bone.

This year I learned that I am weak. I knew I am but I had this sort of pride in my heart which has deceived me and made me believe that I am strong. Apparently, love has struck me. But to a wrong guy because he do not loved Jesus. But because it was a good feeling, I chose to brush off the signs, exposed my heart and just indulged myself on those shivery, fuzzy feeling of infatuation. Next thing I know, I fell. Problem. Ugh!

I had this convictions in my heart and felt no complete joy. I knew I had to stop. I had to revisit my heart and ask myself what it is I really wanted and if I see any future on this. Glad God has kept my sanity. I filled my spirit and seek for godly people to be accountable of me when I made that decision and chose His way. People, who out of love will tell me on my face that I’m wrong and will stand with me every step of the way until victory. I cried. Many times. Even found myself bargaining numerous times if it can instead work out. Apparently, He is just and when He says “do not”- He means every word of it.

How many of you know that God is a god of challenges too. He builds you to be this strong person you never thought you could be apart from His grace. Literally almost every day I have to see this man and those every days I also have to decide that no, it will never work out. There was even this point when I begged Him to get me out of this man as I'm already hurting. And guess what? He instead asked for my compassion. Jaw dropped. Can you please teach me how to separate emotions from compassion, Lord?- Well He did. He taught me that compassion can work from a distance. You can forgive, pray and still bless that man from afar. There are so many other challenges along the healing process like discoveries of infidelity and to even expose you to the other woman who is a friend. How she will always share to me how they exchanges texts and seeing her falling too right before my eyes. And maybe him to her. And then I thanked God that His plans are always to prosper me and not to harm me (to saved me just in time)- even if there are tears along the way.

In all fairness with the Lord, when you cast all your worries to Him, He will indeed sustain you and not let you shaken. You just need to take your position (decision), stand firm and see His deliverance. Glad it is not my battle but His.

There are so many other highlights this year like promotion- be it work or spiritually (I had additional two disciples which completed my group and started serving in a ministry I love- to intercede); vacation in the Philippines last May and having been able to carry the whole family to Boracay for three days with Abe's successful engagement proposal to Norii while sailing on a glorious beach sunset; started doing what I love- events management and stage design on the side of work; new friends; generosity and supernatural provisions to me and the people I love throughout the year.

New Year has come but the Lord is the same yesterday, today and forever. Say hello to 2015 with an expectant heart.

God is good. All the time.

A New Year Poem

by: Arris Padernal

2013 is now part of past

Who knows 2014 will run just as fast?

I am in awe how You command the dawn to set

While I always find morning hi’s the best

Like how the leaves lean itself to the sun

I, too will lean myself to the Son

I will not trade salvation for riches

Nor will I ever trade peace for temporary happiness

Troubles will come, I know

What are they? that I wouldn’t know

But Your hope is my wall

In Your grace, I will never fall

Always keep my paths straight

As the evil uses all sort of bait

Belt me with the Truth

And please increase my faith

Open and examine my heart always

Let me trust nothing but Your ways

When I’m becoming self righteous

Be quick! Your discipline, I will sure to choose

For I am nothing and in You I sure have nothing to boast

In the end, I do not want this race to lost

Keep me tight! hold me tight!

I know my battle You will fight

May I desire for Your coming with a confident heart

You are faithful, I know in Your grace, I will never short

Blessed 2013

I remember praying to the Lord numerous times about patience and forgiveness last 2013. Many times, I will find myself locked on the bathroom weeping because of an offense or being a victim of an unreasonable judgment at work. I even remembered praying of a new opportunity as I feel growth is far and I'm already becoming a person I am not i.e. lying and pleaser at the expense of others feelings, but the Lord is dealing things on His timeline. Numerous times, I found myself being denied by the Lord on my cries, asking me to stay as He has great things in store for me. I obeyed- rejoicing on the hope of His faithfulness.

Indeed, the reward is great for those who wait. Later of last year, my boss has to go back to the UK and I'll be left behind. I know from then that it is a blessing in disguise. I know that when he leave, I can deal with my conscience whilst getting an opportunity to show my knack with the company.  And yes, the Lord has given me the desire of my heart, which is to sell print.

True enough that the yoke of the Lord is light, I never called new clients apart from the people I built rapport with and I've dealt with during Jon's time, but the Lord has been faithful giving me deals  from everywhere, hence, resulting to good figures to wrap the year up. The people around me has been very supportive as if the Lord has touched their hearts. Even the management whom I thought never acknowledged the works of their people expressed their joy upon learning how I performed over the last three months since Jon left.

Recalling all this, I was overwhelmed with the faithfulness of the Lord. When I asked for justice, He fought my battle. When I asked Him to grant the desires He has put in my heart, He is never too selfish in awarding them according to His will. When I asked for increase and provisions, He has another way of answering them- through sales commission.

I have learned that God's ways are not our ways. He has His own timeline and we must submit to the joy that He has something big in store for us. He does things when He will most be glorified. I know that if all these happened not on the way they did, I could have not acknowledged His great love as much.

True enough that if we let God be the God of our lives, He is sure to deal with every matter of our hearts.

My forever verses are from Philippians 4:4- Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! and Romans 8:28-And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

2013 has left and a new year has come, yet, it is the same God yesterday, today and forever. Let us dwell on His grace and love forever.

Throwback

Recalling the time God has picked me up. From then on, life has never been the same.

Worship in Hardship

If you will read Acts 16: 16-34, it is the story when Paul and Silas heal a woman possessed  of bad spirit in Philipi. Yet because that spirit bring her owners money being able to foretell future, they aren't happy and drag Paul and Silas to authorities resulting to being stripped and beaten by the authorities and are thrown into prison. Yet instead of asking God why all these happened despite doing His will, they chose to worship the Lord and ²⁵began praying and singing hymns to God. Suddenly, there was a violent earthquake that prison were shaken. ²⁶At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose- suddenly is such a big word there. It means that when we choose to worship God in our hardship, sudden miracle/s will be released by Him. Usually, when earthquake strikes, it often traps people, but at this time, God is able to shake the foundation not to trap them but to release them.

Similarly, whatever bad situation we are in right now, if we worry too much about it, it will soon become our chains, but the good news is, the scripture would like to impart that the way out of it is through worship. Whatever circumstances, God is more than able to shake its foundation and set us free.

In addition, when we are experiencing hardship, the people around us can also be affected direct or indirectly. Same thing happened with Paul and Silas, ²⁷ The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped- In reality, giving up is always the easiest way out of our bad situation but when we choose to worship God in all our circumstances, it will not only release miracles and breakthroughs but will also reveal His glory through salvation of others- ²⁸ But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” ²⁹ The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. ³⁰ He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household. ³² Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. ³³ At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. ³⁴ The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.

No matter who we are, we have experienced, experiencing and will experience hardship in our lives. If we do the will of God, it will not exempt us, but if we are not, the more we will go through these situations. I encourage everyone to fix our eyes on Jesus and just experience the full power of His amazing grace.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is in Galatians 5:22-23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law- the Spirit that worked in Apostle Paul and in me will be the same Spirit that will work in you. Make a decision today and choose to worship God midst your situation.

Thoughts

Like how the trees are exposed to seasons and processes of nature, we too should find joy in walking through the seasons of life. It is through these processes in which our roots will dug deep and our fiber becomes strong on the inside enabling us to mature and get stable. When the storm comes, we can stand tall. We might lose few leaves or perhaps break some of our branches on the process but at the end of the day, we will stand firm.

Thankful and Blessed

2012 is just about to wrap up and I can’t help but just be thankful with the faithfulness of the Lord above all His blessings throughout this year. Many times I missed to attend the church, read the bible or say “thank you’s and I’m sorry’s” but His love endures forever. My shortcomings has no bearing with the amount of love He’s been giving me since. It was indeed, unconditional.

This year is certainly a roller coaster ride. I have experienced loss, new endeavors, faith, hope, love and more. My fingers will not suffice to count every blessing the Lord has shed throughout the whole year, not only with me but with the people I love dearly.

My 2012 may have started with goodbyes, first with Sodexo (previous employer for two years whom the people I have loved and place where I have been molded professionally) and next, when I lose mom last February. I am glad that the Lord filled my heart with joy to move on with life and true enough that when He closes a door, He opens a window, when the Lord called me to the unexpected place, Dubai, shortly after mom’s death. It is in this unexpected place where I have started to build a relationship with my sister and her family. I’m merry to gain new friends with their friends and I am excited to see how our relationship will blossom in the months/years to come.

I came in Dubai holding a tourist visa which is only valid for 30 days, otherwise, extended for another month which will cost me few more grand, but, the Lord loved me so much that He has lead me to Atlas, my present employer. I was only on my second week in Dubai when I found work. Yey! But hey, the challenge didn't stopped with getting an employer, my faith and patience were also tested when I exit in Iran while waiting for my employment visa to come in. I, again, has gained new friends from there and the memories will surely be treasured. I love my colleagues in Atlas dearly. They are friends to me and the joy they bring to me everyday is awesome.

2012 is also a year of miracles. My family has gained three new addition to our clan. The new source of our joy, our new babies, Raine, Axel and Aj. These babies are truly miracle from the Lord especially Aj who came only after 10 years of marriage of Kuya Ton and Ate Jo. Aj is an epitome of an answered prayer. Baby Aj is a testimony of how prayer can move mountains. Kuya Ton and Ate Jo have cried rivers from few miscarriage in the past, but, as they say, everything happens in His most perfect time.

Above all, It is in this year I mature as a Christian- the best thing ever happened to me. Life is never the same since and I am very excited to see others experience the same. I can’t thank ate Sheila enough for accompanying me in VCF Dubai and for introducing me to Jen, my small group leader. I have not only gained friends with them but a spiritual family whom I can laugh, cry and share the same faith with. I am giddy to grow more in faith with them in the years to come.

The Lord however does not only want relationship with me, but to serve a purpose to save others through discipleship. I had my first disciples this year through Aika and Alexis. Yey! I can't wait to see them mature with the Lord too.

Above are only few highlights of this year, not to set aside, new gadgets, relationships, restoration, answered prayers, everyday protection, provision, strengths, abilities and His plans and purposes coming true in my everyday life. The way I see things now are far way different from how I used to. I thought that success and money are the best things in the world, but they are not. After all, they all shall perish. It is my relationship with the Lord which is eternal. Btw, I melt every time the Lord uses me to bless others - one of the best feelings in the world! =)

I am thankful with how the Lord has been moving in my life. It is in my weakest points, I found perseverance, patience, humility, forgiveness and faith.

But the best is yet to come. I am sure 2013 will be even better. It will be a year of breakthroughs and yes’s from the Lord! *dances*

Bidang Kontrabida

We all have villains in our lives. The person who is always "kontabida" to our wants and our decisions in life. A person who will define us with most negative words. Well folks, I am no different because I  have one too J Pero siya ang bidang kontrabidang mahal ko at sure akong minamahal din nang nakararami - my loving Kuya Andrew.

Being raised in an adaptive family, kuya and I’s relationship were never established. We only lived together when I was already in high school. I must say, siya ang Clara at wicked witch ng buhay ko dati. J I still remember his photo album defines me as “papansin”. He always "kontra" my wants in life. I remember nung one time, nag overnight ako sa extracurricular activity ko sa school - na pinayagan naman ako ng parents ko, at siya, as usual, hindi! Aba kinabukasan, nasa kanto pa lang ako namin, hinila na ang buhok ko pauwi ng bahay namin. Dinaig ko pa si Mara sa iskandalo at dinaig pa niya ang nanay ko sa pagdidisiplina. And please don't forget, I'm already  in high school. Tsk tsk.

Pero siyempre, glad we both matured. God loves me so much that he has restored our relationship. I  have zero grudges :)

Being far from home made me missed kuya especially this Christmas. We’ve been bedmates for sometime before I move in to Dubai. Tabi kami niyan sa bed. Kahit na sobrang lakas ng hilik niya, ok lang. I used to tell him, utang na loob, ako muna patulugin niya, so I will always go to bed earlier than him. Awa ng diyos, count ten pagka higa niya at hihilik na iyan nang bongga! haha! Even kahit na tinatandayan niya ko at pag ako na, ayaw niya na, ok pa din. Walang patid na usapan at wagwagan sa mga kaengutan namin sa buhay ang peg namin every night. haha! 

Pero I still remember din nung sobrang na heartbroken siya, para akong nanay na di matiis tingnan siya ng ganun. Dahil sa emotions ko, inemail ko si "x" na spare his sanity and leave him alone, at ayun, binlock ako ni "x" sa Facebook. Oops sorry kuya!

But what I missed most besides our shopping escapade sa divisoria at pasig for holidays, ay ang good heart niya. Naks! Many will agree to me na para siyang nanay namin, masyadong mapagbigay. People will always run to him for help. He’s not hard to crack. We have this little bonding during Christmas which I really look forward in doing again, kuya and I will buy donuts or burgers and we will distribute it sa mga pulubi sa Quiapo. Very humbling experience and the joy is one of a kind. Actually, we used to both dream of building a foundation someday. Promise me kuya, let's hold on to that dream a. Anyhow, God gives the desires of our hearts.

I am sure God sees the goodness of your heart and He will return the favor to you. I won't be tired to pray for you too. I love you everyday kuya! Missed you bad. Let's travel soon.

Always,

Arris

Mabini's

Never in my entire life did I imagine myself working abroad. I have once considered myself nationalistic (naks!) and the last thing I can do is to abandon my country and let other place reap what Philippines has sown for me. But as they say, GOD is unlikely. He is a God of unexpected. He has callings in unexpected places and perhaps, even with unexpected people.

My move in to Dubai is spontaneous until the latter months of last year. I must say, it was an abrupt decision. Nevertheless, God has been supportive of my decisions in life and allow me to flew to Dubai without any hassle with my documents nor with the immigration.

But just like how the place is unexpected, the people were also unexpected. I am currently living with my sister, ate Lhen, her husband, kuya Joel and the joy of our lives, baby Raine- aka Mabini’s.

I never thought I can build a close relationship with ate, because, we never had the chance in the past due to I grew up in an adaptive family. Little did she know, I have once looked up to her. In fact, few of my paths were copied from her (oh noes! haha!) - theater organization (we are both Artists of the Year when we graduated. Naks!) love for math, Jollibee and call center work during college. Isa lang ata ang di ko natahak, ang kaseksihan niya. Di din siya skinny okay?! haha. But I must admit, I still look up to her to this date. Her love to her family is selfless. I am a testimony of her love, patience and understanding. Kaya naman, you better be good kuya because another ate is way harder than winning jackpot in lotto.

My first months in Dubai were never easy. The anxiety is hell but I’m glad I made it through with their help and my spiritual family in Victory. I cannot thank the Lord enough for blessing me the people I have in my life now. They have been an inspiration and their love and concern for me is just awesome! Their existence is only a confirmation of how great the Lord is.

I wouldn't be tired of praying for more blessings to come to your lives because you all deserved it. The Lord sees the goodness of your hearts and He will return the favor to your family. Cheers to more months and more years together. Love you all!

Victory in Defeat

Low crime count, minimal traffic jam, numbered people in malls, superb station ratings and raining advertisements- these are only few scenarios in the Philippines each time Manny Pacquiao has a boxing fight and I must say, yesterday is not any different except that he is fighting for the fourth time against Juan Manuel Marquez.

I am certain that they both had their fair share of hard core training. I even heard Coach Roach giving Pacquiao a thousand dollars for every man he will knocked out during his sparring.  Well, I heard he pound four. Whoa! On the other hand, Marquez got into his perfect shape in his secret garden. Marquez has been quiet in his strategies while Pacquiao’s trainings were open book since day one.

As all of you may know,  the fight ended quite unexpected. The last second wicked right hook of Marquez on the sixth round has kicked Pacquiao off the canvas. It made the Filipinos shocked and Jinky, his wife was terrified on the ringside. It was unexpected. The last time Pacquiao was knocked out was more than a decade ago and he has been the undisputed boxing champion of the world for quite sometime now. Well, not until yesterday.

The social media was flooded by reactions- both bashers and cheerleaders. I am saddened with how the Filipino people reacted negatively. It is as if Manny is as good as his last fight. All the pride he brought to the country throughout the years were swiftly unremembered. He was being crucified by his Christianity; he is getting old; he is over confident; he shouldn’t win because he has all the money in the world; and a lot more words of discouragement, but, of course, all the persecution were anticipated. Indeed, you cannot please everyone. Nevertheless,  I can’t be any happier for the cheerleaders on the other hand. I am sure that their words are genuine and are relief to massive muscle pains to Pacquiao. Certainly, it was uplifting to his morale.

This morning I got to read his statement in Yahoo News, and I quote "First and foremost I would like to thank God for keeping Juan Manuel Marquez and me safe during our fight. I want to congratulate Juan Manuel. I have no excuses. It was a good fight and he deserved the victory. I think boxing fans who watched us were winners too."

I am blissful to see with how the Lord is moving in Pacquiao’s life. The time he chose to live the right path is just but music to my ears. I am sure he will make a difference in the world of sports just like how Jerry Lin has affected his collagues in NBA. Not to set aside the people he can save from the limelight of show business too. I pray that his faith will not be shaken by this defeat for victory is tested in defeats too. After all, it is not the title nor the belt, but the crown of eternal life Christ has won for us by His victory on the cross. I pray that God will continue to use Pacquiao by leading others to victory in Christ too.

Allow me to end this post by my favorite scripture in the bible: "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus"- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

P.S.

I love it too when Gary V tweeted " Marquez won, but there will be other bigger challenges you will overcome outside the ring, and it will prove that you aren't just a boxing champ but a real winner for the God who still has so much more victories for you in all aspects of your life.  I stand with u my bro. This loss doesn't define who and what u are in the eyes of God”

Prayer Backer

I lost mom on 3^rd of February due to complications of pneumonia she’s’ got from lying on her death bed since the heart attack 6 days past. I never left her side since day one. She’s the mom I’ve known since I got my senses and just the thought of “I might lose her” is only disheartening and the least I can do is to stay beside her.

Mommy is not my biological mom. She and daddy have volunteered to take care of me since my parents cannot afford to, due to their work requirements. We are usually lent to our relatives when we were young. Mommy has been suffering Alzheimer’s disease for years and I am proud that I’m one of those she never fails to remember. She knows me so well and my stubborn days are clear to her. She’s the disciplinarian while daddy is my Thor, my shield from the tyrant. When daddy died when I was five, I gained another parents with their daughter mama and her tart, papa.

The picture of mommy when she suffered seizure is still vivid. I never thought I would find happiness in a ventilator. Every pump means only hope to me and her tiny gestures are like priceless moments. But mommy only got worse, depending more from the apparatus since the seizure. Her body is numb from the medications and the hope I’m getting from the ventilator is wee.  The breath pumps are slowing down and my only respond is to pray for her better. But just when I thought the Lord has heard me, the doctor took that speck of hope away when he announced that at the rate mommy’s going, she cannot make it and will be giving up any time soon. The insensitivity of him to even ask would we wish to unplug the apparatus to curb her pain is only but an arrogant act to me. How can he gain the nerves to share those thoughts to us? Did he just say, kill her? What if is he’s in our shoes, can he even bear to listen to those words he just uttered?

I can’t help but cry and question the Lord on his will. I recall his miracles and even reconfirm his real will for mom- so we have decided to do the natural way, maintain the cables and go on with the medications. If the Lord’s will is to take her away from her pain, protect her from the bullies of this world who do not understand what is Alzheimer’s disease and to let her eat as much sweets she would like without worrying her diabetes - then the Lord will take her to heaven, where a family reunion awaits with her union with daddy, her eldest, Kuya Ram and her youngest, Kuya Jong – and yes the Lord’s grander plan is painful but the thought of her salvation and eternity with the Lord made me still. I am certain that she is in peace there.

I missed her bad. I missed her sweet goodbyes when I leave for office everyday and her warm welcome “nandiyan na ang poborito kong pamangkin” when I come home. Even the neighbors missed her waves when they pass by her seat outside our house. I can only wish one more day or even one more hour to spare her my patience, say as much I love you’s and thank you’s, but I know when she looked down from heaven, she is proud and happy to where I am now. At least, she is closer to the Lord now- she’ll be our prayer backer in heaven. She can make “kulit” the Lord na to answer our prayers.

Until we meet again mom. Until I can hug, kiss and pinch on your cheeks again.

I love you everyday,

Ariz

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A listening GOD

It was lunch last Thursday when a buzz message get my attention. To my surprise, it was my cousin, Aldrin who dropped me a simple hi message. But that simple hi hello exchange has lead to a more meaningful conversation.

Kuya Aldrin is older than me and it was my sister, Ana who is his batch mate. We rarely talk even back in Manila. He is a reggae rock star with inks all over while I'm a girl next door thingy (I wish I am right on my perception of myself. haha!). He is here is Dubai since September with the hope to bag a better opportunity.

Dubai visit visa is only good for two months and he is less than a week close to his 60th day. Yet to that date, he hasn't found an employer yet. You can sense his worries as he typed his reply. To comfort his struggle, I told him I will pray for him. I can sense his smile when read the word "pray". He said that he has been praying hard the past few weeks in his quiet time. But my heart melt when he said,  he felt he has been called to Dubai to be closer to God. It took me a split of second to ask him to meet me later to personally pray for him. I feel that it is a clear indication of his purpose, a calling from the Lord. I felt the same when I went here last February and true enough, I matured here in Dubai. I had a more intimate relationship with the Lord.

It was around 4pm when we met and sipped a cup of coffee and get a taste of to die bun in Pappa Rotti. The conversation was really fun and heartwarming. Didn't expect a rock star also weeps. His eyes are wet as he story his struggle financially back at home. His high hopes to let his wife lay back home to take care of their kids fully. His second child has special needs and needing few therapies which even adds to their monthly costs. Not to set aside, the rent and utilities.

After we eat, we went to the park and prayed and claimed for an answer latest on Monday from an employer because otherwise, he has to go home empty handed with pile of amounts owing. Also prayed for provision and complete healing of his son, Zion from his special needs. I am sure he responded to the prayer and also positive on claiming for a yes from the Lord. I cannot hide my happy face when we departed. I know I have introduced God to his life and perhaps be a starting point of his walk with Him.

The conversation doesn't stopped there. I even messaged him last night about a verse I read from Joshua 3:5 that reads " "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you" True enough that God fulfills His promise for today, he just got the good news. Just four days short before his visa expires, an employer has offered him an office post. But what's better is, the package is even higher than what he asked for. True enough that Lord's timing is never late but perfect. He is just, able and a listening God. 

Salvation is free

Tears fell while cleaning realizing life before being saved by God's grace. The old me is a pleaser who strive being good to delight nanay.  I used think that being good is the greatest revenge so people will always say, I did well despite my parents flaws and in return,  all credit will be mine. It was a selfish ambition. But God's grace is just so powerful that he restores relationships and can turnaround a selfish heart to being compassionate.

Now, I am selfless and forgiving. I can only wish the best for other people. More than that, I treasure my parents more than ever . I can only say good things to them. Always grateful on how me and my siblings have become. Our successes is just awesome and great things are even yet to come.

True enough that there is no perfect life. Otherwise, there will be no room for forgiveness, change and faith. I never felt secured and contented. I remember, people will always say I am competitive but my plans are too weak in His plans. I just lift everything in potters hands. Prayer really work wonders.

Shared Life

I found myself listening to Victory podcast this morning. It was a series called That Thing We Do which gives us a preview on how to be successful with our spiritual life- for it has eternal significance. I am now on series 2 called Share. Previously, it was READ, which discusses devotion in reading the word -for the word builds faith.

Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympiad of all time who has won 18 gold Olympics medals (22 in total) said in his interview that the secret to his success is his devotion to his craft. He said that between Athens and Beijing Olympics, he has only taken 4-5 days off and the rest is non-holidays. Whoa! That was only a day off in a year. No question why he has mastered his craft. Indeed, a genuine devotion.

We always perceive Christianity as just coming to church every Sunday but in Peter 1: 2-5, Peter gives us a picture of being connected with each other to build a spiritual house-a shared life. In big churches like Victory, you cannot build relationship with everyone. Very reason why small groups were made. I have heard many stories and life changing testimonies of friendship, support and love inside a small group.  I myself was guilty of not sticking or at least growing with one when I was still in Manila. I am glad however that I have gained and starting to grow in the sandpit, Dubai.

There was one story pastor has shared about a member of Victory Novaliches. There is this girl who has been battling cancer for the past 6 years. The small group and the church have been praying for her but there are neither breakthroughs nor miracle happening to her. She has said however, that the breath of life is the people of the church- there is no greater feeling than to inspire others.

I am excited to grow with my new found spiritual family. I am sure that they are friends, who won’t judge you but love you, push you, remind you, walk with you, laugh with you, cry with you and most, pray for you. I am sure they might offend me at times but Jesus has already destroyed all barriers from having true fellowship (Ephesians 2:13). I am sure that He will bind us together.

On the other hand, even outside the church, I did not collect tons of friends. I have only few so I can give them each quality time. I treasure them big time. Thank you for the life of friends =)

Chowking, now accepting Sodexo Premium Pass and Meal & Food Pass

Yesterday my Skype was rained with congratulatory messages. Chowking, the biggest Chinese fast food chain in the Philippines is now accepting Sodexo Premium Pass and Meal & Food Pass. They have over 350 branches nationwide and are famous for their halo-halo and Chinese chicken.

I have started the negotiation with them when I was still with Sodexo last year and I am happiest to hear that, finally, they are on board. I pray that the tie up will help them reach targets this coming peak.

Sodexo will always be a big part of my career. It was a learning haven for me. I had the best mentors back there. It was emotional to know that they still treasure my contributions for the company. Cry.